On BIG changes
These days it is more important than ever to be gentle with oneself and others. It is a time when we are all transforming and stepping into some big changes. This past year has been a lot. For all of us.
Change is something that I often love. Reinventing myself and reinventing the wheel feels good, I am a lover of traveling and roaming the wilderness. I often do it solo. Change gives us flavour, and new textures and thought forms to explore. Change is always happening, many aspects of this existence (in fact you could argue, all of it) is fleeting and impermanent.
Sometimes change is also scary. It can be a process of grief, frustration, feeling misunderstood.
I have been in a deep chrysalis of change myself lately. After spending much of my life occupied with the mind (studying, creating, educating, learning) I made a big decision a couple days ago.
I was accepted into UBC's Masters of Human Development, Learning, and Culture with a specialization in Social Emotional Learning. I didn't really tell anyone because a few months prior another big dream of mine (one of the biggest!), potentially the only real dream of mine, is on its way to coming true. So making choices means choosing to let go of old identities and stepping into new ones can be hard. In economic terms, "opportunity cost." In human terms, choosing your own destiny.
I have always found my nervous system more regulated in rural settings and closer to the earth. As many of you know, almost all of my ancestors were farmers in the North Indian province of Punjab. Many of my ancestors were healers, intuitive, seekers and mystics. We are mountain people, we are people of the 5 rivers flowing from the Himalayas into the fertile earth.
My people have been protesting for months on end to argue against corporate greed in agriculture. In the 1980s the so called "Green Revolution" introducing large scale pesticides, chemicals and large scale industrial type farming was introduced in India under the guise of "development." These foreign chemicals caused high rates of cancer and death in my people. Suicide had become rampant. Our mental health is nurtured by our connection to the earth and when that is threatened, along with traditional modes of sustainable small scale diverse crops, WE are threatened.
In addition, my people (Punjabi Sikhs) have been heavily persecuted as a minority faith in India. We are a proud people, a warrior people. I come from revolutionary spirits who believed in oneness. Social justice, equity, love and generosity is at the heart of the faith that I was raised in.
I feel this, as a member of the Diaspora. I feel the change rippling across the earth. I pray for the farmers. I pray for the land. For the animals and the plants that have been genetically tampered with, beyond recognition. Our planet RELIES on a sustainable future. Nothing else matters.
When it comes down to it, I remember something my wise friend Kyla said once - life is really just about relationships.
Relationships of love, belonging, sharing, growing, learning, safety and kindness. That is how we will move forward into this new reality. By showing up authentically as who we are, by being honoured for our unique gifts as individuals and as communities. By reclaiming our ancestral strength, our resilience and our joy. Pleasure is activism. Rest is activism. Eating well and enjoying life is important. Humour is important. Resilience is important. You are important. I am important. We are important.
I decided to decline my offer of acceptance for higher education at UBC. There's a sadness associated with that. Letting go of the promise and potential, I even feel a little guilty for all the amazing professors who wrote me a reference letters. So many emotions related to one decision. The conclusion I came to is I don't need any more official schooling to interfere with my education. I want to create earth based education instead. I want to create sanctuary in this chaotic world. I want to stand in the truth of who and what I know myself to be. I'm going back to the roots. Back to the earth. Farming. Retreating. Growing. Moving. Dancing. To learn the ways of our ancestors and make it even better and more relevant in today's society. Wish me luck and stay posted about some upcoming changes in this space!
